


My Dream Date

by stirringsofconsciousness



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Baking, F/M, Fluff, a silly twist on a fake dating trope, canon au where everything is much milder and no one dies or nearly gets drowned in a hot tub, essay contests, riverdalesecretsanta2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 13:58:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17163248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stirringsofconsciousness/pseuds/stirringsofconsciousness
Summary: For Jughead's entire life, there had been a familiar pattern to their friendship: Betty had always been in love with Archie, Archie had always been happily oblivious to Betty's affections and displaying a disturbing tendency to fall head over heels for any girl passing by, and Jughead had been waiting for Archie to notice Betty.But recently -- while Jughead couldn't exactly say he'd ever been in love, or really felt love for anything other than a really good hamburger -- he was uncomfortably aware that he was having some kind of _feelings_ for Betty. The kind of feelings that would make it really, really hard for him to read Betty writing about her dream date with Archie.





	My Dream Date

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AquaMarinara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AquaMarinara/gifts).



> For @AquaMarinara, as part of the #riverdalesecretsanta2018 Secret Santa exchange. I hope you enjoy this twist on fake dating and mutual pining! You are such a lovely and kind person, and you made me really want to write something about writing. <3
> 
> Thank you to @blissfuloblivion for beta-ing!

Like all his favorite superheroes, Jughead could be felled by his one big weakness. Superman had kryptonite, and Green Lantern the color yellow; Jughead Jones had Betty Cooper’s baking.

 

He could smell the cinnamon rolls from where she stood in the doorway of the Blue and Gold office. “How can you have baked goods still smelling like it’s just out of the oven when you’ve been in school all day?”

 

“I may have bribed the home ec teacher with the recipe so he’d let me in,” Betty said with a grin as she ambled over to his desk. “So, I have a favor to ask.”

 

Jughead knew he was already a goner. For form's sake, he tilted back in his chair and gave her his best attempt at nonchalance.

 

"What kind of favor, Betts?"

 

Betty sat down in the chair next to him. "I found this essay contest, and I've been working hard on my entry. Would you read over it for me?"

 

"Sure," Jughead said. "What's it about?"

 

Unexpectedly, Betty blushed. "It's called, um, My Dream Date."

 

Jughead had no idea what the expression on his face looked like, but clearly Betty could see it and was concerned, because she hurriedly rushed on.

 

"I know it's a little hokey-sounding, so don't judge, but it's just a silly little essay, and then if I win, I can put the money towards a scholarship fund."

 

"I don't exactly know much about dream dates," Jughead said. "Or any kind of dating. Wouldn't this be more of a Kevin or Veronica thing?"

 

"But you're the best writer I know," Betty said. "And I trust you. Can you help me, Juggie?"

 

There was the head-tilt, and the stab in his heart.

 

"Flattery will get you everywhere," Jughead sighed. "Send it over."

 

"Thanks, Juggie!" Betty bounced out of the room. .

 

The only problem was, this was the last thing Jughead wanted to read.

 

For Jughead's entire life, there had been a familiar pattern to their friendship: Betty had always been in love with Archie, Archie had always been happily oblivious to Betty's affections and displaying a disturbing tendency to fall head over heels for any girl passing by, and Jughead had been waiting for Archie to notice Betty.

 

But recently -- while Jughead couldn't exactly say he'd ever been in love, or really felt love for anything other than a really good hamburger -- he was uncomfortably aware that he was having some kind of _feelings_  for Betty. The kind of feelings that would make it really, really hard for him to read Betty writing about her dream date with Archie.

 

But he was her friend.

 

"As you wish,” he muttered at her departing back.

 

\---

 

That night, Jughead headed to his usual booth at Pop's, put his headphones on, gritted his teeth and opened up Betty's draft.

 

 

> My Dream Date
> 
> by Betty Cooper
> 
>  
> 
> Like most girls, I've thought through a lot of versions of my perfect dream date. When I was a little girl, I'd make my Barbie and Ken dolls -- or sometimes two of my Barbies -- act out what I thought was real romance: fancy dinners at restaurants, going to the Eiffel Tower in Paris, hot air balloon rides. Nothing could be more romantic than the grand gesture!
> 
>  
> 
> However, as I've grown up and gotten more mature, I've realized that you can have a perfect date for $20 or less. Because really, the most important part of a date isn't going out somewhere, but the person you're having the date with.

 

> So my dream date would actually just be very nice and cozy: a good meal with a good friend. We could even cook together at home -- I love to cook! -- and cuddle up and watch a great movie. I think being relaxed and spending time with someone you care about is really what dating is all about!
> 
>  

It wasn’t exactly what Jughead had expected to read. It was very Betty, after all -- and honestly, a date with Betty, eating food Betty made, sounded great. And he was sure Archie would love it (even though Archie and Betty never really agreed on what made a movie good).

 

 _Do what Betty wants,_  he thought to himself.

 

For form's sake, he made some copy-edits, changing commas and highlighting a few words, but Betty was a good enough writer he really didn't have to do very much. The simple essay was, honestly, a winner to him.

 

\---

 

"I finished editing your essay," Jughead informed Betty at lunch the next day.

 

"Thanks, Juggie!" Betty smiled sweetly at him.

 

"What essay?" Archie asked. "Did we have an essay due? Betty, I need help with an essay."

 

Still facing Jughead, Betty laughed. "It's not for class, Arch. There was an essay-writing contest that I entered, and Jug helped me edit my entry."

 

"A contest?" Veronica zoomed in like a hawk. "What contest?"

 

Betty's smile was quickly replaced by a slightly harried look. "An essay contest about, um, what your dream date would be like."

 

"That sounds like fun!" Veronica clapped her hands. "Betty, why didn't you tell me about it?"

 

"I didn't think it was your kind of thing," Betty said as she carefully unwrapped a sandwich.

 

" _All_  contests are my kind of thing, Betty dear. A Lodge always wins!"

 

Honestly, Veronica could probably give any of the Lannisters a run for their money, Jughead thought to himself, but definitely did not say out loud. Sometimes he didn't understand what Betty saw in her friends (himself included).

 

"It was for a scholarship, Veronica," he found himself saying out loud. "Something that us plebes have to work for."

 

Veronica raised an eyebrow at him, but Kevin spoke first. "What kind of scholarship is based around dating? That seems really 1950s-esque, even for Riverdale. And heteronormative. I mean, could I even enter it?"

 

"I don't know. I'll have to check the rules," Betty said quickly. "I mean, I hope so. But the contest actually has its deadline tonight, so I don't think you'll have time."

 

"Too bad," Veronica said breezily. "I would have loved to explain how one can perfectly impress any and all suitors in any sort of situation, up to and including an afterparty for the Met Gala."

 

"What even _is_  your life," asked Kevin as he chewed. Jughead rolled his eyes.

 

"But you should definitely send me your essay," said Veronica. "What does Kylo Ren over there even know about dating?"

 

"Nada," said Jughead. “All I know about is em-dashes and abuses thereof. Guilty, thy name is Cooper."

 

"Hey!" Betty said, throwing a pretzel at him. Jughead caught it and surreptitiously put it on his tray: in a few minutes, when the others had forgotten its origin, he planned to eat it.

 

"Juggie's a really good writer, and I trust his judgment," Betty said to Veronica and Kevin. “Unlike you two, who can’t write anything without gratuitous pop culture references or being incredibly extra.”

 

“How very dare,” Kevin said, placing a hand on his heart.

 

"Well, you should still send it to me," Veronica sniffed.

 

"And me," added Kevin. "I definitely want to read this."

 

"I want to help too!" Archie said. Jughead had to physically restrain himself from facepalming. It didn't really help that Veronica and Kevin looked about the same.

 

Betty threw up her hands. “Fine! Fine! Everyone can read the essay!”

 

 _Well, when he finally comes to his senses, he'll have a blueprint_ , Jughead sighed to himself, and ate the pretzel.

 

\---

 

A week passed, with no more mention of the essay, or dating of any kind -- at least not involving Betty. Archie started writing songs with Valerie Brown and Veronica had a surprisingly tame date with Chuck Clayton. Jughead studiously refrained from asking Betty what she thought about this development, which was easy enough to do as she seemed really caught up in Kevin’s drama of the week (something about a love triangle with him, Moose, and Midge).

 

Which is why it caught him by surprise when he sees the email from [ YourDreamDate@gmail.com ](mailto:YourDreamDate@gmail.com) with the subject line “Congratulations, you’re a finalist!” in her inbox.

 

He’s not _snooping_. It can't really be considered snooping in someone's email if the other person tells you to look for something in there. Which is what Betty had told him to do (to get files for the Blue and Gold). And Betty was right there in the room with him, at the other (ancient) computer, trying to coax its graphics program into behaving.

 

He’s not intentionally snooping, anyway. But he sees it, and something feels...wrong.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me, Cooper?” he asks.

 

“Hm?”

 

"You're a finalist for the scholarship thing."

 

"What?" Betty asked, still intent on the screen.

 

"The essay. The dream date thing." Saying it out loud made Jughead feel incredibly stupid.

 

"Oh. Oh!" Betty's head jerked up. "No, no, it's -- it's spam, I should have deleted it."

 

"What are you talking about?" Jughead clicked through. The email looked pretty standard -- "Congratulations", "wonderful essay", "have your dream date" "all expenses paid" “final round” -- okay, “get your _bon mots_ ready for the most exciting night of your life!” was a little strange -- "There's another round to this thing?" Jughead suddenly realized that Betty was at his shoulder, bouncing up and down antsily. He surrendered the computer to her, and she immediately deleted the email.

 

"Yeah, it's stupid, I'm not going to do it."

 

"Why not?" Jughead asked slowly, leaning on a nearby desk.

 

"Because..." Betty chewed on her lip. "It's stupid. I don't need to do it. Kevin was right, it's sexist."

 

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Jughead said, "but if I read that email correctly, it says that to win the prize, you need to actually have your dream date, and write about it. And they'll pay for the date."

 

"Yeah, that's what the email said." Betty's ponytail swiveled. "Can we get back to putting out the paper?"

 

"Isn't the point of a dream date that it's something you want to do?" Jughead persisted.

 

"Yes, but you have to have someone who wants to have a date with you," Betty said shortly. "And I don't."

 

"Who says?"

 

“The male population of Riverdale.”

 

The air seemed to thicken, to curdle around Jughead. He forced himself to speak. “What about me?”

 

Betty tilted her head. "Really? You want to?"

 

Jughead rubbed the back of his head. "For a Betty Cooper-cooked dinner? There are worse things I could do. And I'd be helping out my pal."

 

"Wow. Way to make me feel special," Betty said, her face falling.

 

Jughead swallowed. His voice cracked. "Betty, I want to go on your dream date with _you_."

 

"Really?" Betty asked again. This time, a smile was emerging.

 

"Really," Jughead nodded. "And not just to eat your food. Wow, that sounded weird."

 

Betty laughed. "Okay, so, when? This Friday? Polly and Jason have a date, and my parents are going to be covering the football game, so no one will be home..."

 

Jughead couldn't help the red flush that crept across his face. And of course, Betty noticed, and then she started blushing, too.

 

"Not like that! God!" Betty said. "My parents will be back by like nine at the latest. But we can have dinner. And a movie."

 

"A good movie, now," Jughead cautioned, relieved that his voice seemed to be back to normal. "No Disney, no remakes, no sequels."

 

"Cross my heart," Betty said cheerfully. "Only Tracy-Hepburn levels of repartee allowed."

 

\---

 

The news that Betty and Jughead were going out on a date made its way around their friend circle with barely a ripple. Jughead was so busy making sure that Archie didn't mind -- and that Betty didn't mind that Archie didn't mind -- that he barely noticed Kevin and Veronica's pointed glances.

 

Well, he noticed, but more to the point, he didn't really care. Kevin and Veronica were okay -- Kevin moreso than Veronica -- but they weren't his oldest friends since childhood, the way Archie and Betty were. They were friends-by-transitivity, people who sat at the same lunch table.

 

Which is why it was a surprise when Kevin caught Jughead by his locker Friday afternoon. "Can I talk to you?"

 

"Go ahead," Jughead said, but his mind was more on how he was going to kill the hours between now and his date with Betty.

 

"I...huh, this is hard to say," Kevin said, and took a deep breath. "Look, this is deeply, deeply terrible of me, but...there is no dream date contest."

 

"What?"

 

"I mean, it does exist, whatever, Betty found it, straight people do weird shit. But the finalist thing -- the whole ‘act out the dream date' thing -- that's me. Me and Veronica. Well, Veronica's fronting the money. But it's my idea."

 

Jughead's mind whirred. "So then -- "

 

"We made it up. So that Betty had an excuse to ask out Ar -- someone, because we knew she was into him, and just needed a reason to tell him. But then he asked out Val, and Betty's so nice, that -- "

 

"That she's doing this date just for the essay contest," Jughead finished dully. "And she wanted to date Archie."

 

"And so you don't have to be an Archie substitute!" Kevin said. "You don't have to do this, if it's out of obligation. I don't want either of you to feel like you have to."

 

"This is a deeply shitty thing that you did, Kev," Jughead said.

 

"I'll be saying Hail Marys from now until Easter, sure." Kevin grimaced. "You just both seemed like...you were into it. And that's crazy, right? You shouldn't have to be someone's second best option. No one should be."

 

Jughead slammed his locker door. "Look, you might be resenting being part of a love triangle or something, but it's really no excuse for messing with Betty like this."

 

"Go ahead and hit me. I deserve it."

 

Jughead balled up his fist for a moment, then unclenched. "You're on the wrestling team, you're solid muscle. I'll just hurt my hand."

 

"Probably, you're pretty weak," Kevin agreed. "But you don't deserve to not know. I'd want to know, if it were me."

 

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” Jughead started walking away. Kevin kept pace.

 

"You’re really upset about this,” Kevin marveled. “I’ve never seen you so upset about anything in my whole life. Do you...is it because you like Betty?"

 

Jughead glared at the other boy. "I'm not telling you anything about my personal life, ever, not in the history of the world. You or Veronica."

 

"I'm really sorry," Kevin said.

 

"That's not enough for me right now," Jughead said, and walked away.

\---

 

He had to talk to Archie. 

 

For some inexplicable reason, Archie answered the door shirtless. “Hey, Jug.”

 

“Can I come in?” Jughead asked.

 

“Sure. Don’t you have your date with Betty soon?” Archie asked.

 

“No. And jeez, put those things away,” Jughead said, motioning in the vague direction of Archie’s pecs.

 

“The date’s off? Why? Betty’s going to be disappointed.” Archie pulled on a t-shirt.

 

Jughead studied the wall intently. “The date’s not off. But you should go. Betty want to date you, she always has. I don’t want to stand in the way of inevitability.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Archie said thoughtfully. “I mean, she told me how she felt at homecoming, and I told her I didn’t feel the same way.”

 

“What?”

 

“See, if you actually went to school dances, you wouldn’t be blindsided by stuff like this.” Archie grabbed a glass of milk.

 

“Yes, but that would require attending high school dances.”

 

Archie took a long swig. “Look, you’re both my friends, and I want you to be happy. But if you’re punking out on this date because you’re scared, and you’re using me as an excuse, then you’re hurting Betty for a really stupid reason, and I’ll have to kill you.”

 

For form's sake, Jughead glared, but he knew Archie was right. “I need to start hanging out with friends with fewer muscles.” Jughead sighed.

 

\---

 

He stood on the Coopers’ doorstep for minutes, afraid of what would happen once Betty knew.

 

When Betty opened the door, the most amazing smell of gingerbread wafted out, and he went weak in the knees. _Ah,  sweet Kryptonite!_

 

"Juggie, you're early!" Betty greeted him excitedly. "I'm not ready yet -- come in!"

 

She led him into the kitchen, like she had a thousand times before in their childhood friendship, chattering away. "You're too early. Dessert is cooling, but I had to make the pizza dough now so it can rest before for dinner. I figured we could make our own pizzas, so you can have all the toppings you want, and I can have a normal number of toppings, like a sane person."

 

It was too much. "Betty, don’t do this."

 

Betty's leaf-green eyes grew concerned. "What's wrong? I thought you'd like pizza."

 

Jughead paused and reframed. “If you’re doing this date for the contest, let’s just forget about it. There is no finalist round. Kevin and Veronica made it up.”

 

Betty exhaled. “Yeah, I know. I wish my friends would trust me to know what I want, as opposed to assuming they know what makes me happy.”

 

Jughead blinked. “How did you know?”

 

Betty started ticking points off of her fingers. “Because I’m the greatest teen detective this side of Veronica Mars, because real scholarship contests don’t reference All The Boys I’ve Loved Before in their letters, because before you came over Kevin just sent about five anguished texts, and also…” Betty drew in a deep breath. "And because I made up the whole idea of the contest, so I could use the essay to tell you how I felt about you."

 

"About me?"

 

"I knew you thought I still had a crush on Archie, and I...wanted to show you how my feelings had changed. So I designed a date just for you and me, and I made up the contest to tell you about it, to see if you would be interested."

 

"Betty Cooper," Jughead breathed. "That is a very byzantine process."

 

"I was thinking it was like something out of a Tracy-Hepburn movie."

 

"You really don't mind going on a date with me. Jughead Jones."

 

"I would really like to go on a date with you, Jughead Jones," Betty affirmed.

 

"Okay," Jughead said. "Then, I'm really sorry, I know you've planned out this whole date weeks in advance and all, but we've got to change things up a bit."

 

"Why?" Betty asked.

 

Jughead grabbed his sherpa jacket. "Tonight, we’re dining on Veronica's dime, so we're buying every damn burger on Pop's menu."

 

"Sure!" Betty said with the sweet smile he could finally admit made his stomach flip. "Pizza can be next week."

**Author's Note:**

> Betty's gingerbread recipe is here: https://www.geniuskitchen.com/recipe/the-most-wonderful-gingerbread-cookies-80156 (Sub in maple syrup for molasses for a special Riverdale twist.) 
> 
> Reviews are very much appreciated, and you can find me on tumblr here: http://stirringsofconsciousness.tumblr.com/


End file.
